Reflections

Whenever I go to school and walk up to my classroom, I hear many different subjects being talked by people around. As I try to ignore them, the subjects come out on my ears and then they get on my brain and make me start thinking about it and at the same time, make me try to figure out where would those subjects lead them.

I can’t understand if they do it just not to keep doing like nothing, but I’m sure nobody is free to do whatever they want to, at 7 AM; they leastly have to walk up to their classroom as I do, but no, it’s much better not to go on the right way and being considered like a “normal teenager”, even because teenagers who go on the right way are nerds and mean shit for everyone else(that’s the way everyone get fucked, but wuts tha metta its so fucking freak hahaha).

As I’ve just said, I try to mock those kind of situation, I really have to try my best to keep going on my way and not to stop and inquire some topics about they think they’re intelectual enough or even highbrows to talk about.

Many people call me fake just because I don’t express myself that good, but if I would, they’d just ignore and restart saying I’m crazy, because I think way more decent than they do, and that’s not even common. I just wanna do what I’m really enough to, and not ever try to mean something higher than what I know that I can mean.

Unfortunately, really few people think like me, obviously, they’d have to spend such a long time thinking about what were being useless for them, once they’ve never done it before and it worth nothing, or they would even loose something they have currently, like friends who think like them and even their positions on their friends rankings.

Why would anyone ever make a ranking for their own friend? Is it the meaning of friendship? Can a friend loose its “position” and friendship suddenly just because this one decided on starting reasoning and finally choose the ideology it’ll follow till the end of life?

None is obligated to follow someone else’s ideology just because the other one is a friend, friends must be there whenever someone get in any kind of trouble and the ideology won’t even matter, even because if they think so different, they wouldn’t/couldn’t even have become friends. For some reason that I can’t get, people CAN NOT think before doing the things, it seems like the biggest trouble and the hardest thing to do before whatever. People just think about what they should have thought when they met each other for the first time when they get betrayed and start crying.

I just wonder how can’t people figure/learn what they must do before deciding on whatever, even after some deception they’ve ever had; like, how can’t they figure that if they had ever thought before doing something, they wouldn’t be sad in such moment, won’t even have to worry with the future. They can NOT foresee what’s coming up later, and they do have to worry and think twice before anything because they aren’t anyone else to not take any risks on everything they’re supposed to do.

While they talk about useless things, they could have been thinking about their own things and figuring what’s going wrong or what’s supposed to bring up troubles to themselves; as it’s much easier not to worry about anything, it’s much better to have a good position with friends and be someone special, and fuck the rest, they’re in a position with friends and then they can have as much fun as their friends(who surely not do it either).

In my opnion life’s not made just by fun, fun means just a part of life to me, even smaller than the serious one, this is the way I’ve thought since I was 10(that i had one of the biggest deceptions I’ve ever had) and I can’t say I don’t have any deceptions but I can say the quantity of deceptions have gone down over and over ever since and I’ve lived much better, though many people call me crazy and other call me arrogant, but as easy as it seems not to worry about anything, it’s really easier to worry for some minutes but get a much better life and not to have any deceptions and never get through troubles(troubles go away when I think, then I can do whatever I want later on, 10 minutes is surely worth more than months crying).

Thinking about where has your time been wasted on isn’t easy for the first time, but you get really used to it after some weeks, and then you’ll realize how life started flowing better and all the time you spent thinking was really worth it; moreover fun shows up within.

I wish people could think like that, it just proves how people prefers the easiest way than the more complicated one, no matter the result they are supposed to get.